Please don’t ask that question of people.
Sometimes the question is asked by a child and the accompanying adult looks mischievous, like they think their offspring is being cute and impish. That look tends to mean to me that they are curious too.
I don’t care how curious you are. Please don’t ask.
Somedays, I might say it is from choice. Other days, that it never happened for me. Another day, the time was never right. There are other reasons I might give too.
These explanations might vary day to day, but they are all true. The response will depend on which is most prevalent in my mind at the time. Mostly, I am speechless and genuinely struggle to know what to say. I don’t really have an answer for why I don’t have children.
But I should never have to give an answer to that question.
No matter how close a friend or family member you are, no matter how much I love you and respect you, it is not ok to put me on the spot and ask such a personal question.
It is OK to let me bring it up if I wish to talk about it with you. It’s ok to then say you don’t know what to say. It’s even ok to admit you’ve wondered and wanted to ask. I will thank you for not putting me in the position of facing that question on the spot when I might not have been prepared for it or in the state to answer it.
Very rarely will I say my hips are the reason. If I give that explanation, I’m lying and it’s because it was the easiest answer to give as I wasn’t comfortable talking about it.
Because, the truth is, I always assumed I would have children and now I know I won’t have them. I also know that’s the right thing for me now. But I don’t want to answer your questions and I should not be put in the position of facing them because you are curious.
So please do not ask people why they do not have children.